A few weeks’ ago, I forgot that I’m not 18 any more and I went out with my boyfriend and drank double vodkas.
You know how everyone has at least one drink that is just not safe? Vodka is that drink for me.
Of course, I wake up feeling like I’m on a Ferris Wheel despite lying perfectly still in bed with my foot on the floor to ‘ground’ me.
To beat a hangover, I routinely require 5 gallons of water and a constant supply of stodgy carbohydrates. On this particular morning, the first thing I did was check Snapchat stories to establish what time we must’ve gone home. That made me motion sick, so I switched to checking messages. I see there’s one from my boyfriend, who is completely zonked and snoring away next to me; he’ll sleep for another 6 hours if I let him.
It may not seem much to you, but I read this message and was like YES! HE’S A KEEPER!
The message goes like this:
Morning babe, you’re super drunk and fast asleep and I know you’ll be awake way before me and you won’t be feeling up to a trip downstairs. I’ve left the pizza at the end of the bed for you to snack on when you wake up. I got your favourite! Hope you had a good night, love you.
I’m surprised and a little ashamed that I was clearly too drunk to do what I normally do, which is scoff half a pizza in the taxi queue but it doesn’t take away from the thoughtfulness of the gesture.
Firstly, he got me a vegetarian pizza which is an insane sacrifice for an enthusiastic carnivore, and a drunk one at that. Secondly, even in his drunken state, he was thinking about how I would be feeling when I woke up.
Now, I like to think I’m a considerate person but, last night, I was concerned only with getting my head onto a pillow ASAP.
In a long-winded and over-sharing kind of way, I’m trying to say that it’s the nice, small things we do for each other that mean the most.
For anyone reading and wondering what kind of nice, small things I’m on about, just stay right there on the edge of your seat.
Do lovely things, like these:
1. Make a brew. I love to come home from work to find the kettle boiling ready for me. On especially shit days, this is interchangeable with ‘pour them a glass of wine’. But, really, who says “no thanks” to the question: “wanna brew?”
2.Buy a small, thoughtful gift. Not for an occasion, just a random gift to show you take an interest in their life. For example, my boyfriend and I want to travel a lot together, so I bought him a scratch map so that we could mark off our adventures.
3.Make something. Try as I may, I am just not a crafty type. But, something handmade or personalised is always special. Like a scrap book or photo album, like the one in the images for this post. Failing that, there’s always a sock bunny a la Phoebe from Friends.
4. Leave a message. I love sweet texts but, in the old days, we used to write stuff using paper and pens. My boyfriend used to work night shifts, and I knew I wouldn’t see him before I left for work, so I made the bed look all cosy for him and left a nice note on the pillow. This is also a great passive-aggressive way to let someone know you’re mad at them, but that’s not really the tone I’m going for.
5. Say it with food. I know everyone says emotional eating is bad but I have to disagree. It’s delicious. Nothing cheers me up like the suggestion of just having mashed potato for tea, or being presented with takeaway options, after a “this is the worst day” text on my lunch break. Take those hints.
6. Impromptu date night. Whatever that looks like to you. Cocktails, mountain biking, reviewing your joint coin collection, whatever. It’s a great feeling when someone makes effort to plan an activity you’ll enjoy.
Being generally considerate and a nice person is probably a safe strategy for a successful relationship. But, especially in longer term relationships, we can forget to remind the other person what they mean to us.
Small acts of kindness show that you care, don’t take them for granted, and listen to what they need.