Where have I been?

Posted in Lifestyle
on July 8, 2018
Taking a blogging break and finding inspiration again

Hi! Remember me? I’d forgive you if you forgot. I’ve kind of forgotten how to write, actually, it’s been so long. I last posted on the blog over a month ago and, in that time, I’ve had one guest post from a brand and I’ve written one guest post for another blogger. Actually, on that note, you should absolutely check out Lucy’s blog (who I wrote the guest post for) and catch up on her body stories series because it’s really wonderful.

Anyway.

So, yes, I’ve been fairly absent. Not just absence of blog posts but absence of tweeting and ‘gramming and pinning and everything, really. I can’t honestly explain what happened but I just woke up one day and fell out with it all.

Not in an angry way, I just felt absolutely indifferent and ‘meh’ about all things online. It’s not at all that I didn’t want to interact with anyone or that anything particularly happened in my life which meant that I needed to take a break, I just found that it wasn’t really working for me for a while.

I lost my inspiration to write and I scrolled through social media mindlessly, without really chatting to anyone. I decided that me posting to Instagram or the blog would be pointless and I convinced myself that nobody really engages with or likes what I post anyway. And, yes, I know that sounds incredibly dramatic, self-indulgent, whiny and a bit wanky tbh. Which is exactly why I had to stop being online, because it started to be something I never wanted it to be. I started to get too affected by what other people seemingly thought (or didn’t) about my online presence.

When I first started blogging, I was beside myself that any single person would read anything I wrote. When my readership and following started to grow, I was chuffed to say the least. I just liked having people with similar interests…that community thing I was looking for.

Recently, though, I started to lose my online voice. I didn’t understand what people wanted to read from me and I didn’t know what I wanted to put out there. Of course, the less I was online, the worse I felt about it. I stopped writing and I stopped being inspired and motivated to write, too. So, I took a break from blogging. I muted hashtags on Twitter which were clogging up my feed, leaving more of the stuff I wanted to see. On Instagram, I unfollowed a ton of people (no hard feelings?) because I only followed back out of obligation rather than a real love of the subject of their content. I removed my tracking code and stopped looking at analytics because it was, frankly, depressing.

I wasn’t completely uninspired in all aspects of life, though. I’ve actually been working on probably the most interesting, exciting thing I’ve ever worked on (for me) and I’m really happy to be sharing that with the world very soon! In some ways, I’ve never been more inspired and motivated. I just needed to figure out where that places The North Left in all of this.

The conclusion I’ve come to is this: the blog will continue to exist because I want it to. I still want the space to write and share and interact. I just needed to take the pressure off and think of it less as a business and more as a personal thing. I’ve realised that dun dun dun I don’t actually want to be a full-time blogger right now. Maybe in the future, but not in my current circumstances. I will continue to share things I love: travel, recipes, feminism, health-related stuff. There’ll be less focus on making things SEO and shareable and more focus on just writing to articulate whatever happens to be in my head at the time.

Writing for Lucy was a big part of what brought me to this conclusion. I wrote about body image and it was funny how easily the words came. I realised that was because it was something I was happy to share and it came from me. So, that’s what I need to do more of.

No take-home message from this, really, just to let you know that I’m still here! Looking forward to some chattier, less frequent posts coming soon!

How to stop procrastinating

2 Comments

  • Merkitty

    Well, if it means anything.. I noticed that you were missing and I just assumed you were having too much fun travelling and stuff. I’m glad you’re back and that you’re not going to put any pressure on yourself. I get the same way about social media and it comes in waves with me.. one day I am tweeting up a storm and don’t care that nobody is commenting back.. the next day I’m crying in bed because I don’t have a big following, nobody talks to me, everyone hates me.. all the drama! I think it’s normal to have ups and downs like that and at least you stepped away and recognised it. I think that’s a really healthy way to deal with it. I now come to social media when I feel like it and there is no pressure on myself to be present every day and if people stop following me, then so be it. My mental health comes first at the end of the day.. and I’m not a very social person anyway!
    Glad to see you are back and sorry for my ranting ♥

    July 10, 2018 at 14:48 Reply
    • North

      Aw, lovely, SO sweet of you! Thank you for noticing I’d gone somewhere, and also for taking the time to read this random post and leave a comment. I always appreciate it.
      You’re so right about social media, it’s probably one of the worst things to have around when we’re feeling down anyway, but I do believe it can cause bad mental health days and definitely at least contributes to mental health conditions longer-term. It can really suck when you feel like you’re talking to yourself. I just try and remind myself that most people won’t even see my tweets because there are sooo many others and apparently the lifespan of a tweet is only about 18 minutes anyway. If people stop following you, then what you have to say and share isn’t meant for them anyway. They aren’t your people, so just keep doing what you’re doing and being yourself and your people will come eventually!
      Thank you for sharing xx

      July 12, 2018 at 03:57 Reply

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